The following is a guest post contributed by one of our Londonistas, Melissa Mehta. Melissa is a performance coach who supports people building a new life in a new place. She’s had her own adjustments to make in the past, swapping the gritty grey-ness of Nottingham for Honolulu, and then coming back again. We here at London Relocation Ltd. especially appreciate Melissa for the empathetic and caring voice she lends and look forward to future collaboration with her as an extension of our home search services.
A new city. A new country. A new home. A new job. New friends. How exciting! How challenging! And sometimes, how overwhelming….
Starting a new life in a new city is not for the faint of heart. A certain amount of disorientation, trepidation and frustration is often encountered in the quest for a new home, a new job, somewhere to go on a Friday night and some people to go with. Even something as bland a trip to the supermarket can be a struggle, as we get to grips with new and unfamiliar brands.
There’s often a need to take a deep breath, grasp our courage in both hands and go for it. Then we’re often rewarded with that big kick of excitement, discovery and adventure. But when things aren’t quite falling into place as we’d like, what can we do to encourage the universe to go our way? Generating a bit of luck can swiftly turn daunting prospects into exciting adventures.
It is possible to increase the frequency of good and helpful things happening by creating opportunity in the most unlikely places, with little resources and a small amount of effort. This will get us back on track and make the process of building new life in a new city far more enjoyable. And here’s how.
1. Be clear about what you want
What do you want? When? Where? What does it look like? How does it sound?
You want to use your new location as a base for exploring Europe… which countries, what time of year, what will be your most eagerly anticipated destination, who will you go with, when will you leave, how will you fund it, what will you pack?
Or perhaps you want to take the opportunity of starting again in a new city to take up a new hobby. What will you be doing, what will you look like, where will you be, who will you be with?
May be you’re after a new job… what’s your ideal position, where would it be, who would you be working with, what would you be wearing, what would you be earning?
A clear idea that you can daydream about in HDV and surround sound is much more likely to become reality than a vague and ill-defined notion. Your brain can’t tell between real life and strongly imagined scenarios, and will start to believe your dream is real. The more you convince yourself it can happen, the more likely you’ll take action to bring your dream to life. That’s what generates what some people call ‘luck’. It does really work.
And if you know exactly what you want, you’ll be able to share your dreams with others and they just might be able to help you.
2. Talk about it
Once you’re clear about what you want, start talking about it. Brits may seem unfriendly, but we’re mostly just a little bit shy! Most people will be inspired by your boldness, openness and honesty, and may offer support. That help may be the piece of luck that you’re after. If you know 5 people, and they each know 30 people (they’ve been here longer than you), you have network of 150 people within easy reach. Someone’s bound to be able to help.
A note of caution. Dreams are often fragile. Do not share you excitement with doom-mongers and naysayers. Their cynicism and negativity may infect your beautiful dream, and destroy your belief that it can happen.
Find out where people who share your dream hang out, and go talk to them. Try Meetup, Facebook and Linked In to find likeminded people who will add to your enthusiasm, rather than trample on it. Lucky people generally have big networks, and are eager to help. So go and meet them! Get a business card printed, even if you’re not in business. It’s easier to exchange contact details that way.
And email them the next day to say it was good to meet them, and pass them on any useful snippets of information about anything you talked about. Show willing and cultivate your network!
3. Ask and it is given
Ask people for help. It’s not rude or pushy, unless you ask in a rude or pushy way. People like to be asked, it makes them feel valued and respected. Who can resist the approach ‘I’m really interested to hear what you think about….’?
Hint: Ask people for something small requiring little effort, such as an opinion or a contact, rather than any action. If you ask your friend if they know someone who could help, they may well end up offering to help you themselves. It’s easier to ask when a ‘no’ doesn’t feel like rejection.
Be bold. If the best person to help you is a world famous expert, drop them an email. It’s very likely they were successful in part because of their audacity. They will be impressed by your gutsiness.
Whether you get help from Richard Branson, or Sam next door, always say a sincere ‘thank you’ immediately, and then follow up with a note or an email. People who feel appreciated will try even harder to help you next time.
4. Say yes
When a new opportunity comes your way, say yes. Don’t think about it too much, just say yes. Even if it’s really unrelated to your dream, say yes. If you’re hanging out with likeminded people, the chances are there will be a link somewhere. Even if there isn’t, you will open up your existence to new opportunities and people, and that’s where the excitement lurks.